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The Holidays: A Caregiver's Tale

Updated: Dec 15, 2023



As the holiday season approaches, I find myself reflecting on the days when Mom used to be the heart and soul of our family gatherings, especially during Christmas. Her vibrant energy, warmth, and culinary magic made every celebration a cherished memory.


About a decade ago, subtle shifts began to unsettle our holiday routines. Mom, the queen of the kitchen, started facing challenges. The familiar recipes she effortlessly mastered for years suddenly became confusing. Her once unshakable confidence in the kitchen wavered, altering the essence of our family gatherings. Little did we know then that these were the initial whispers of a larger storm brewing.


It wasn't until later, a few years down the road, that the diagnosis of vascular dementia shed light on those perplexing moments. The diagnosis offered an explanation but couldn't erase the deep-rooted changes that had already settled in our lives.


Then came COVID, stealing the remnants of our extended family gatherings. Socialization became a distant dream as it became increasingly strenuous for Mom. Our isolation grew, casting a shadow over our once vibrant and bustling holiday seasons.


As her caregiver, conversations with family members often revolve around her well-being, inadvertently sidelining her presence in the discussions. It's as though people talk around her, not directly to her. The unspoken understanding that she may not remember overshadows the fact that she still feels and experiences emotions like loneliness and sadness.


It's a sobering realization, facing the fragility of life and the potential path that lies ahead for us, too. The profound truth that we must extend the empathy and understanding we'd desire in similar circumstances weighs heavily on my heart.


The holiday season, once a time of joyous gatherings and shared moments, now serves as a reminder of the isolation we face and the silent struggles that accompany caregiving. Yet, amidst these challenges, there's a clarion call to treat our loved ones with the dignity, respect, and engagement they deserve.


In the quiet moments, when things feel uncertain and worry gets the best of us, one guiding principle remains steadfast - doing unto others as we would want done to us. It's this mantra that anchors us in the midst of it all, reminding us to cherish the present and approach caregiving with unwavering compassion.


The holidays might not be the same, but the essence of love and togetherness persists, weaving its way through the fabric of our caregiving journey.


Wishing you all a season filled with warmth, joy, and cherished moments. Happy holidays to each and every one of you.


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